Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
