i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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