ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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