but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I am naked and annoyed.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
