STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
