I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The best revenge is premature balding
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
