Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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