so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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