are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
