No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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