I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
