just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
