She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
