if you like me you must not know who I am
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
