Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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