i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
