She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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