haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
