They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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