walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
