i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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