i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
