I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
