There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
