wat bout pragnant strippers??
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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