toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
