i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
