so explain again why im purple
no
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
