This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
