so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
