i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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