UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
