Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
