Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
