She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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