And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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