He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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