You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
