I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
