No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
