She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
