This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
