I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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