Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
