I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
