That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
