lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
