the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
