Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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