One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
