I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
